I have been overwhelmed this week by a flurry of ideas, worries and curiosities. About my work, my life and relationships, my personal trials and visions for the future that I want to create. I’ve allowed myself to be distracted and tempted by unproductive activities, which have taken up the time and energy that should be reserved for processing and pondering all of the things that have occupied my mind lately.
Mental and emotional space is sacred, as I’ve come to learn.
The world as we know it to be, now in 2023, is filled with unending stimuli. There is no longer a natural instinct to take a pause from the busyness of life and the information we consume – we have come to a point that we need constant reminders to rest.
Perhaps the failings of the body and tiredness of mind are important signals for this much needed rest – a sense of space, of peace that is essential to our human existence but which has been neglected in a culture of doing over simply being. Of living in flow, gratitude, hope and ultimately, love.
I have been doing so much, yet some days feel empty. Or rather, I feel empty.
I’m spiritually disconnected and worldly fatigued. And it’s time to change.
Too much time has elapsed since I put pen to paper, since I felt God’s presence at my piano, since I sang heart songs of praise. I’ve been filling myself up with the wrong things.
In my work with young people, I have reiterated the message of living ‘holistically’, of seeing one’s life as a rich tapestry made up of many valuable parts which make a beautiful, though complex whole. I believe in this so much and yet I have not fully integrated this philosophy into my own experience.
I’ve struggled to value all of the parts that make me who I am, opting to fixate on the tangibility of productivity, success and external validation. I’ve succumbed to comparison, self-pity and doubt. Such fears and concerns which have plagued me for a very long time, only dissipating during the little bursts of courage I’m able to harness from time to time.
Reconnection with my faith is the next step here.
It’s the only remedy for a weary soul. It’s a lifeboat, an anchor, a clear sky.
I can no longer be at the mercy of earthly desires, I must set my eyes on things above. That’s where I will draw strength, where I’ll find the confidence to step into my purpose.
I need to start making space for God. I need to rest in the peace that He offers to me.
The world may leave us empty but His Love will always fill us up.