A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because her trust is not in the branch, but in her own wings.– Stanley Stinson
The end of last year brought on some of my most challenging times – across many aspects of my life and namely, at a deep mental and emotional level. I learned a great deal about myself; how my upbringing, past experiences and beliefs have shaped who I am and in more melancholic terms, have limited the way I think about my life.
I have since realised the culprit for my feelings of instability and it is that which feeds on us all, gnawing away at our deepest desires for joy, hope and freedom. This perpetrator being, worry.
I caught myself in the depths of it, like darkened clouds fogging my vision, occupying too much space in my mind, leaving only the smallest cracks for light to seep its way in.
It was worry about my future, my family, the thoughts of other people, the chaos in the world. I lived many days last year cloaked in doubt about my health, my abilities, my purpose. I know now how much I wasted these days.
Upon greeting a new year, I am seeking clarity through reading, reflection and prayer. I am striving to break through my fears by engaging in healthier conversations and better self-care practices. I am learning how to truly honour process and exercise gratitude.
For all worry does is guarantee a life half-lived in the shadows, feigning comfort and protection, yet casting a cold, sombre shade that ultimately keeps us in hiding.
It has never really served me to put trust in things outside of my control, and now that I am wiser, I must also learn to fly with courage amidst the uncertainty of life, of which there will always be.